"we stood there in a dual, then i gave him this look and shot him with me lefty then the right and did this cool victory dance" - Matt McWilliams

Are there Poodles in your Pot Noodles??? - Lauren

mandy comforted jill as dave discretely popped her piles back in for her - Mouldy

"miss, miss i had my hand up first, i know the answer, ask me ask me!" - Lyn 

In her extreme state of drunkenness she decides 2 show of her knowledge 2 her friend on the fone by informing her that the rare brazilian earthworm measures on average only 4inches, however they can b very dangerous. - Gav

"It was then that the photographer realised what the story was about - Herbert was one of the few people to be truly aerodynamic only from above." - colin

through gritted teeth, jenny tells sarah to keep her hands off her breasts while the camera is on them..... - Elmo

having queued all day for the Hearsay Auditions, Debbie's emotions finally overcame her once she saw Nigel Lythgoe in the flesh... - jay

Suddenly, sickeningly, the chap from the Hula Hoops advert realised that Hoopy McHula wasn't around to help him this time... - Peter 

"Rohyp... what?" asked Janine, blissfully unaware of the surprise 3-some her friends had planned... - jcarmstrong

Barry`s penis strengthener was well worth the £20 his girlfriend forked out for christmas. - twisted

girl in white: right so this is my plan. when i see a guy i wanna pull i go up and introduce myself and when i go to shake his hand, the contraption in my shirt makes my boobs pop out.
guy: mmm lace eh!! - Stu